The Magic of the Airplane Bloody Mary

The Magic of the Airplane Bloody Mary

As I get older, I am sometimes amazed at some of the things that pop into my head. I’m not sure it s possible, but I could actually be more immature in my after 50 life, than I was as a teenager. I’m not sure why but maybe it has to do with freedom? Of not caring so much what people think? Or am I becoming feeble-minded? Whatever the reason is, sometimes you just have to do something for the fun of it, and a bloody Mary brought me to this post.

One day, I may research and write about the history of the bloody Mary. I won’t make it the seminal point of a posting, but I will give you the dates, origins and all of that, for those of you who insist on such things. But for today, I just feel compelled to write of the wonderment of this most magnificent creation. Once again, I am sitting on a United flight, this time, heading home to Vegas from New York, and I find myself writing another post for Better Life After 50.

I really have to get off of the road so much. It is morning and everyone around me has ordered bottled water, hot tea and coffee. In my younger days, I would have sheepishly followed the herd. But at my age, I had the courage (or cynicism) to thirstily order a bloody Mary as soon as they brought that cart around. “A full bloody Mary?” the attractive flight attendant asked, loudly. It seemed like everyone on the plane was listening for my response. Surely, this guy wouldn’t actually order a hard liquored drink at 8:30 in the morning. Surely, they would be wrong.

I had thought about that bloody Mary in the smelly Uber ride from midtown to Newark airport, on that ridiculously long security line, and in the SRO (standing room only) boarding area. “Hi-test, double”, I blurted out in a somewhat defiant and slightly loud manner– surrendering both any moral equivalency with my fellow tee-totaling passengers, and any claim to youth by referring to leaded gasoline. No one else ordered anything stronger than Starbucks.

Debbie, the flight attendant, obliged, twice. She seems to know her way around a bloody Mary. It, er they, were strong and good. Service on flight 1525 was certainly above par. But, I digress.

I stumbled upon the magic of the bloody Mary during my first year of law school. I studied law in California and I had decided to visit some friends over a long holiday weekend back in Chicago. We had a great time, but I somehow forgot to study during my visit. After the fun was over, I found myself on a very late Sunday night flight heading back to San Francisco. I had 40 pages of real property law to read, and Professor Hovenkamp to face on Monday morning.

I’m not sure how I first came to order a bloody Mary. I think I saw someone else do it and I thought it looked interesting. Nonetheless, it would become nothing less than an epiphany. The tartness of the Mrs. T bloody Mary mix, combined with a squeeze of lime, and a good vodka just seemed to sharpen my senses. I was aware of everything and everyone. Spiderman and his spidey senses had nothing on me.

But seriously, I was able to focus like crazy. I can’t explain it. I couldn’t then and I can’t now. What happened was semi-miraculous. I read every case, holding, and dicta for 40 pages, with nearly perfect recall. The clarity was unbelievable. As chance sometimes happens, the next morning Professor Hovenkamp called on me to expound about trover, detinue, replevin, and the rule against perpetuities. He stood me up for the entire 50-minute class. For those of you who know, the Socratic method is not always fun, especially when you are in the hot seat.
It was fun that day though. I was on a roll like I don’t think I have ever experienced since, unfortunately. I answered every question with the wit of Oliver Wendell Holmes. (Before you ask, the effects of the bloody Mary(s) had worn off by the next morning.) I don’t really know where the answers came from, but they came. At the end of my interrogation, the class gave me an ovation. That had never happened before. So, I made bloody Marys a frequent part of my routine.

A quick note. This does not work at home nor in  restaurants.  It only works when studying or prepping on board an airplane for a meeting or a speech. However, I do not recommend this method if your commitment is the same day as your flight. (You’re over 50 for goodness sakes!) I cannot explain the physics. That is just the way it is.

Over the years I have found that my comprehension of books, articles, and complicated documents was significantly increased after drinking a couple of bloody Marys. Of course, a big part is that I was relaxed, but neither wine, beer, nor any other alcohol has had the same effect on me. I have found this to be the case with my writing as well.

And so, I salute the airplane blood Mary. It is never too spicy, never too weak, and never too strong. The Mrs. T mix is always consistent, and that little bottle of vodka they give you is always just the right amount. So the next time you see a fellow passenger drinking a bloody Mary, especially early in the morning, don’t judge too quickly. He may just be trying to understand things a little better.